Pornography

Author’s note: At first, I was hesitant to publish this article. I did not want to write about a topic that some of my young readers may not have been exposed to yet. I did not want this article to pique someone’s interest and act as a gateway to pornography.

However, thanks to the internet, we all have access to pornography, and there is no small amount of pornographic material on Instagram, YouTube, and other social media sites.

If young readers are faced with these images and videos online, they should, at the very least, also be offered an explanation of why it is harmful. And if they must deal with the temptations that arise due to free access to such materials, they should also have access to information that helps them overcome them.

Silence does not defend the innocent.

Silence does not strengthen the weak.

Silence does not fight what is wrong.

That is why we must speak about pornography and bring it into the light of day.

***

There are certain things that appeal to us humans.

“Appeal” might be too weak of a word, and “things” might be too general.

Let me rephrase: There are certain desires that we humans long for with such a burning passion that there is little we can do in our own power to stop from chasing them.

Power is one of them. Status is another. Social acceptance and survival are also among these.

We humans do horrible things to attain power.

We sell our souls to gain status.

We change ourselves to receive acceptance.

We kill to survive.

But there is more than this. There are feelings that we chase even though the pursuit harms us.

We smoke to calm down.

We drink to forget.

We eat sugar to comfort.

And we watch porn.

We long for these feelings so strongly that we become addicted to that which provides them.

I have read multiple articles and listened to podcasts on pornography to find out why it appeals to humans. Here is the short version of what I learned: We are hardwired to be attracted to any type of sexual content…call it human nature or instinct - that is just how it is.

What seems to emphasize this specific desire is a perceived lack of power, lack of status, lack of acceptance, a need to calm down, a need to forget, or a need to be comforted.

Pornography fills a void - and just like sugar, smoking, and alcohol, it is destructive and addictive.

Additionally, the desire to watch pornography is often just fuelled by unbridled lust. C.S. Lewis said it best with these words, 'Lust is a poor, weak, whimpering, whispering thing compared with that richness and energy of desire which will arise when lust has been killed.'

Leaving morality aside, pornography gives us an undeserved dopamine dump we didn’t have to work for (unlike exercise or any sort of accomplishment). The brain becomes accustomed to this and needs more dopamine to still feel the effects as time goes on. The addiction grows while we grow numb. It destroys us.

Morality, however, also comes into play. Watching pornographic material is shameful. And in a culture where we are told to embrace who we are and live shamelessly, I chose to use the word “shameful” intentionally.

Watching people engage in promiscuous and sexual activity is not honorable or virtuous.

It is so shameful we dare not speak of it. But what happens behind closed doors and hidden in darkness is still part of us. Just because no one sees it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen or have an effect on us and others.

What does the Bible say about pornography?

"For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh" - Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Ephesians 5:31

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.' but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” - Mathew 5:27

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” - 2 Timothy 2:22

"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18

...Marriage is for one man and one woman. To lust after a woman, even if on a screen, is an act of adultery. Flee the evil desires of youth...watching porn can hardly be described as pursuing righteousness, faith, love, and peace. Sexual immorality is a sin against one's own body.

In conclusion, who can watch porn with a clean conscience? – Those who believe morality is a social construct. Those who do not care about their own well-being or their impact on others. Those who believe they are not harming their spouse or future spouse by lusting over other men and women.

If you do not hold those beliefs, you must resist pornography.

How can I resist pornography?

1. Pray. Jesus teaches how to pray, and one of the lines is, “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” We can call on God for help. We can ask him to keep temptations away from us and free us from the chains of evil. Prayer works.

2. Do not lead yourself into temptation. If you were to decide you want to stop eating chocolate, the best way to achieve that would be by not having chocolate in the house. If you then have a moment in which you are overcome by desire, you cannot succumb to it simply because chocolate is not available. We often lead ourselves into temptation by saying, just one taste, one small bite, and then I’ll stop. But it doesn’t work that way. How far are you willing to go to do what you know is right? Do you need to turn your phone off? Put it out of your room? Have a limited amount of internet? Turn off the internet completely?

   It's easy to think these precautions are over the top. Are they, though? How willing are you to alter your lifestyle in the pursuit of moral excellence?

3. Recognize your weakness. When you realize you are falling into temptation, flee. This is the advice given in 2 Timothy. Take a walk, call a friend, pray. Do what must be done - but flee.

4. Finally, strive to become someone who lives by a moral code, someone who seeks honor and virtue. Make it a part of yourself. Let it flow into every aspect of your life.