Three Things

Dear Readers,

Life can be a whirlwind and a freight train all at once. It flies by, and sometimes, it is too fast to keep up with. In times like these, it is crucial to slow ourselves down. The more we can slow down and be intentional, the less we will be affected by the storming gale.

How often should we slow things down?

I try to do so every evening.

Today, I want to share three habits that I have developed which have greatly benefited me. This is what do before I head to bed:

1. I reflect on my day

I think through how I approached my day and how I interacted with people. I remind myself of the priorities I want to have in my life. I observe the thoughts I had and the posture of my heart. I ask myself if all I did was to honor God, and I try to identify things that may be weighing me down.

In my experience, self-honesty is one of the most important virtues one can exercise. This reflection I do in the evening must be performed honestly, and it must carry enough weight to cause change in me. If, for example, I recognize that I acted pridefully in a specific instance, the first thing that will usually happen is I’ll take up offense. I’ll try to believe that I was not truly exhibiting pride, and if I was, then it was certainly justified. But these are lies. I cannot allow myself to listen to them. I must instead allow my conscience and knowledge of Jesus’ teachings to convict me. It hurts a bit to see something in myself that I don’t like, but accountability is the only path toward growth. And I do not necessarily need someone else to hold me accountable. That is something I can do myself.

Self-honesty is also essential in revealing burdens that I am unknowingly carrying with me. Unidentified insecurity, sadness, anger, jealousy… sometimes it seems easier to let these things simmer beneath the surface than to allow them to come to light. I have learned that looking at myself and trying to recognize these things can be difficult. I want to see them, but at the same time, I prefer they stay hidden. The problem is that even unidentified weight is still a burden. So, I take the time before I go to bed to be brutally honest with myself and shine a light on things that prefer to remain obscured by darkness (read more about this in ‘Atlas’).

2. I write my story of the day

Writing my story of the day used to be something I loved to do. Somehow, I have gotten out of that habit over the past few months. My Grandma recently pushed me to get back into it, and I’m glad she did. My story of the day is not about recording everything that happens; instead, it is for writing down one thing I want to remember the day by.

Gratitude journaling is a fairly common concept in which you write down things for which you are thankful. You could probably classify my story of the day as a type of gratitude journaling. I find it a bit more fun because of the storytelling aspect. I find it allows for more creativity. Each day has a story to be remembered by. I’m reminded every evening of these moments of excitement, love, and struggle that I am thankful for (read more about this in ‘Paper Airplanes’).

3. I pray

Praying is hard for me. I once wrote a song with the lyrics, ‘At night, when I kneel down to pray, my mind drifts away’. That line is a little more accurate than I would like it to be. I think that, just as communicating with other people can be learned, prayer can also be learned and improved upon. Prayer is something I want to push into far more than I have in the past.

In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus teaches his students how to pray. One line in these instructions in particular captures my attention: ‘…Your will be done….’

Praying is not wishing, and God is not a genie. I can express my desires to God, but I cannot confidently say that it would be best that my will always come to fruition. For, my understanding is incomplete, and my plans are short-sighted.

Let me illustrate this with an example: I didn’t like doing my homework when I was a kid, and yet my dad still made me sit down and do it. In my infinite childish wisdom, I thought it would be great if my dad would just do my work for me. This, however, would have defeated the purpose of homework. So, what could I ask my father for? Support, wisdom, understanding, guidance, and patience. I could say, ‘Dad, I don’t want to do my homework because it’s difficult. Could you sit down with me and help me understand this? Could you show me where to start and encourage me to remain patient?’

In the same way, I do not want to pray to my heavenly father that my will be done. For instance, if my best friend is dealing with health issues, I can express to God that I don’t want him to be sick and that I wish he would get well soon. BUT I want God’s will to happen, not mine. So, I would not necessarily ask for my friend's healing; instead, I would pray that God would support and guide him through his struggles. I would ask that my friend would remain steadfast in his faith, fully recognizing that he needs nothing but Jesus. In addition, I would ask for the wisdom to best support my friend through these trying times.

I still have a lot to learn about prayer. One day, I hope to write a contemplation focused solely on that topic.

That is it for today.

Three things that help me grow in areas I deem important.

'Benched' - I sit on a bench I made to sit on