'Missio'

The amphitheater trembles beneath the weight of 40,000 roaring spectators. Two gladiators stand in the center of the arena. Sweat rolls down their backs as the August sun turns their battlegrounds into a fiery furnace. The Retiarius’ net lies covered in dust after a failed attempt at entangling his opponent. He now dances around quick-footed, jabbing his trident forward to keep the heavily armored Murmillo at a distance. Above his right clavicle, a deep cut reveals the bone. A steady stream of blood rushes from this wound as if it were the sand in an hourglass, slowly counting down the last minutes of the gladiator's life.

The Murmillo pants beneath his bronze helmet. His left shoulder burns from the weight of the heavy rectangular shield. Each blow from the trident weakens him. The gladius in his right hand is no long-range weapon. He must get closer before his left arm gives out.

The Retiarius bounds to the left, thrusting the trident at his adversary’s helmet. Sparks fly as metal meets metal. The force throws the Murmillo's head back, disorienting him momentarily as he lands defenselessly on his back. In the blink of an eye, the victor is kneeling over the gladiator in the sand, holding a knife to his neck, awaiting a decision over life and death.

Their eyes meet. For a second, the crowd hushes. The defeated fighter loosens his grip on his sword and raises two fingers.

He gives up.

‘Missio’.

The Stoics have a saying: Amor Fati: The love of one’s fate.

Amor Fati is a mindset that embraces what life throws its way.

Times get difficult? Good. Understand that it is necessary for you.

Times are easy? Good. Be wise and find ways to push yourself and grow.

Amor Fati is embracing your fate.

Does this mean resigning? If I should love what happens to me, should I then just let things transpire as I stand on the sideline?

Are the Stoics telling me to walk through life holding up the two fingers of ‘Missio’?

‘I resign’.

‘I am defeated, lying in the dust with a knife at my throat. A victim of my fate.’

By no means!

The Stoics also believe that we are the masters of our minds and emotions. While we cannot control what happens to us, we can very well determine what our response to it will be.

So, how do we love the fate that is forced upon us and is out of our control but also take control and ownership of our own actions? How patient can I be when waiting for an opportunity without resigning and allowing life to pass me by?

How forcefully can I exert my own will before I am not embracing my fate but trying to control that which I cannot?

Well, in truth, it never was about MY will.

As a follower of Christ, loving my fate means living out God’s will instead of fulfilling my own desires.

How do I know God’s will? I do not know what will be asked of me tomorrow or next week. I don’t know where I will be in one year or five years, but I do know what He is asking of me right now. If an action aligns with Jesus’ teachings, if it gives my conscience peace even if it is difficult, if it builds my faith and draws me closer to Him, if it is selfless and an act of service, if it requires trust and furthers Jesus’ message - then I am quite certain…it must be God’s will.

If an action requires lying, if I must hide it from those I trust, if it burdens my conscience, if it is selfish, if it leads me away from God or into temptation and sin – then I do not see how that could be an action that is aligned with God’s will.

As far as I can think back, I have almost always known which path the virtuous one was. And as long as I keep that trajectory, I can push forward and take action while also embracing my fate. For, any hardship that awaits me will simply be me taking up the cross of Jesus (Matthew 16:24). That is a fate I can love.

What if I stray from that path? What if I start exerting my own will?

Then, I shall also embrace my fate. I will be brought to my knees and corrected. I will hate it, and it will be hard. I will hold up a hand in acknowledgment of my surrender, allowing myself to learn from my mistakes. That, too, is a fate to love.

How bad would it be if I could exert cruelty and yet never face the consequences of my actions, never have my conscience crush me, and feel my heart be ripped from my chest as I betray that which I believe in and hold dear? I would simply continue walking the same path, never recognizing the error of my ways.

Controlling your response and being the master of your mind and emotions is to walk uprightly, unwavering in adherence to your faith, values, and moral code.

Loving your fate is to accept the consequences of actions that you choose. You cannot control the consequences, but by the decisions you make, you can ensure that the fate that awaits you stems from virtue.

A gladiator fighting a bad, selfish battle should love his fate for the correction it will offer him.

A gladiator who has fought fairly and honorably bears no shame in holding up the ‘Missio’ and being resigned to the fate that awaits him for actions that he knows were good.